How to reduce stress in small ways
A GUIDE TO MICRo activities that Alleviate Stress
Being a mom, there are some days where you try your best and still feel like you are not enough.
You work tirelessly to make sure that your kids are fed, safe and healthy. You attempt to adapt to the constant increase in the cost of living, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. It seems that there are so many things you are worried about, but not enough hours in a day to meet all of your family’s needs.
Being a single mom is a continuous learning experience and can often be an isolating one. When worries take shape, it is easy to feel alone and overwhelmed. We wanted to remind you that one of the bravest things you can do as a mom is to say that you are struggling. As a parent, you often dismiss your own wellbeing for your children’s, and forget that your health is just as important.
We’ve compiled a list of activities to help you practise mindfulness and stress reduction, to take that important first step in making your mental and physical self-care a priority.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Mind Maps
CBT Mind Mapping is a visual way of laying out your thoughts, related emotions and behaviours to identify stressors in your life as well as unhelpful thoughts that impact uncomfortable emotions and behaviours.
You begin by identifying a situation in your life in which you experienced an uncomfortable emotion. For example: feeling social anxiety when preparing to meet your friends that you have not seen for a while. This situation will be the centre of your mind map.
The next step is to draw your thoughts bubble, which will explore any unhelpful thoughts you experienced while being in the situation. For example, an unhelpful thought when being nervous to meet your friends could be: “I am a burden to my friends because I have nothing to give in our friendship.”
Next, draw a second bubble, labelled emotions. List any emotions you felt as a result of those unhelpful thoughts. For example, when thinking you are a burden to your friends, you might feel shame, anger, and sadness.
After giving some thought to your emotions, you can then identify any behaviours you noticed stemming from your thoughts and feelings. These can be both small and large actions. For example, as the result of feeling sad and anxious, you might cry, pace, over-analyse your appearance or personality, or self-sabotage (decide to cancel on your friends to avoid the situation completely).
The next step is to re-visualise the situation and frame it in a helpful light for the next time you experience it. A good place to start is with your thoughts. Instead of saying “I am a burden to my friends”, you could say “I am human, and I’m allowed to make mistakes in our friendship”, and instead of “I have nothing to give”, you can brainstorm little ways in which you are proud of the person you are.
The intent in developing helpful thoughts is to actively think these thoughts when experiencing similar situations in the future. The emotions and behaviours you experience may take time to adjust, but the initial thought aims to frame the situation in a helpful manner and remind you that you can adapt to stress in your life.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation and Yoga
Another helpful exercise that relieves stress and anxiety in your mind and body is progressive muscle relaxation. It involves tensing and relaxing each muscle in your body to increase your self-awareness of your mental and physical sensations and focus on being present. A good place to start is with your feet or hands and gradually work your way around your body, becoming aware of any places of tension as well as letting go of unhelpful thoughts along the way.
An alternative, more mobile practice that is also aimed at focusing on the present is yoga. Yoga involves both dynamic movements and stationary poses, yet still has a strong mental component with setting intentions for each session and expressing gratitude. If you are unsure of where to start, there are some great resources on YouTube such as “Yoga with Adriene” as well as apps like the “Nike Training App” which has videos in a class-style format and records your progress over time.
Guided Imagery and Visual Walks
Guided imagery involves visualising a place that you associate with positivity, such as being calm or being happy. While visualising this place you have in mind, taking note of the atmosphere, appearance, and your experience of being in this place, you can ask yourself various guiding questions.
A helpful place to start is to think of the five senses: what does this place look, smell, taste, feel, sound like? What are some memories you have in this place? Why is this place important to you? Focusing on a positive place in your mind is a tool for becoming present in a difficult moment of thinking and approaching stress with a sense of calm.
Another alternative for visualisation is to visit the place itself. Sometimes taking a walk in a visually stimulating or calm inducing place is a great way to remind your mind of a time in which you were experiencing peace.
Gratitude Journal
Sometimes understanding your stressors and alleviating them begins with identifying aspects in your life that you are grateful for. Making a list of little items you are grateful for in your life can help you break a big life into smaller, more digestible parts. Each thing that you are grateful for is something to celebrate!
We hope that these exercises and activities encourage you to focus on being present and actively break down large stressors into smaller, manageable areas to work with. These activities are not meant to replace therapy and are more so temporary measures to reduce stress in the moment. Should you wish to seek further help, Mom2Mom’s comprehensive resource guide can connect you with mental health professionals and support.
Our programs at Mom2Mom, including our Compassion fund and Circle of Moms community events, aim to encourage Moms to develop self-compassion in the long-term. There is no perfect way to do your job as a mom – be kind to yourself and remember that your wellbeing is also important. When moms thrive, children thrive.
Written by Samantha Chen