Moms, Hand in Hand
The importance of Community in Reducing Social Isolation for Single Moms
We all need friends: people we can talk to when life lets us down, when we feel overwhelmed and alone in our struggles. Moms are no exception – they may seem like superheroes, but they also need a supportive community to stand with. The pressures of single parenthood cannot be overstated. Single moms carry the weight of paying for living expenses; delivering nutritious food and education for their children; and now, keeping themselves and their children healthy during a pandemic all alone.
Loneliness amongst single mothers has been exacerbated since the beginning of COVID-19. Lockdowns restricted moms from meeting with their friends and family, impacting their already precarious social networks. Even as society began opening its doors, many single moms still found themselves left in a state of social isolation. Research shows* that single mothers experienced the largest decline in employment among all parent groups during the pandemic; many struggled to pay for food, housing, utilities and childcare.
With the loss of childcare, jobs, and social networks, many single moms found themselves isolated at home with their young children. Swamped in financial, physical, and mental exhaustion, they were unable to talk to another adult for weeks on end. As a result, loneliness and the stress that came with it contributed to the severe decline in single moms’ mental health and emotional well-being. A 2021 research* reports that up to 30% of single moms have reported showing symptoms of depression, and 50% showed symptoms of anxiety in the last two years of the pandemic.
Having a sense of belonging in a community is fundamental to the improved mental health and emotional well-being of single moms. Moms understand moms – and how difficult some days can be as a parent. They need a safe space where they can talk about both the joys and the struggles that comes with raising a family, without the fear of being judged. Research on the mental health of single mothers during the pandemic showed that fostering feelings of gratitude proved positive effects on emotional well-being and mental health. One of the methods was to express gratitude to another person, which suggested the effectiveness of sharing your thoughts within a community to prevent the internalization of life stressors.
Expressing your thoughts through conversations prompts people to reframe and interpret their life circumstance and focus on positive emotions. Reflecting on the brighter sides of life allow single moms to slow down and feel gratitude for what they have accomplished.
When constantly pressured by the societal ideals of “perfect” motherhood, it may be easy for single moms, especially moms in poverty, to feel like they are failing at their role. What single moms need is a circle of moms, a space where they can see that they are not alone. Hearing the words “I know what this is like”, “I know how you feel”, and “I understand you” from other moms reduces the stigma around seeking help, and not always being perfect.
Communities are vital sources of support during a crisis – they become a space where people can feel a sense of solidarity with one another. In M2M’s 2021-22 program evaluation, well over half of the participant moms said that their mental health has not improved in the past year, noting the limited ability to connect with people and the stress of navigating the pandemic alone as key reasons. Despite COVID-19 restrictions lifting, single moms feel the ongoing impact of their isolation. Several moms reported a yearning for more connections:
“I feel very lonely sometimes and would benefit from social connections with moms and kids...doesn’t have to be single mom families. Any kind of families with young children.”
“The biggest dream is to expand my social contacts. I am yearning to have friends, other moms with kids and for us to be friends hang out.”
Mom2Mom’s Circle of Moms program aims to reduce isolation/stigma and advance mental health/emotional well-being for moms living in poverty through community events to connect in a safe space. Activities we’ve hosted include:
Nature-based therapy
Art therapy
Movie nights
Cooking classes
Summer Picnics
Holiday Luncheons
Events include childcare, transportation costs, and a shared meal, making them accessible to single moms living in poverty. It is an opportunity for moms to put themselves first, in a space where they can make meaningful social connections. Moms are truly incredible – but they are not superheroes, and they can’t do everything on their own. Having a community that they can turn to and connect with, especially after enduring long months of isolation, is more important than ever.
You can learn more about Mom2Mom's Circle of Moms program and other ways we are supporting single moms and their children here.
Written by Riko Tanaka
*Research used for this blog post: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2022-00838-001